Reality Recap – Vanderpump Rules – Season 3, Episode 20 – #PumpRules

Reunion Part 2

Ok so you all know by now that I absolutely LOVE Vanderpump Rules, right?! Well then you have to trust me when I say last night’s episode was a real bore. I love reunions on Bravo because they are usually a lot of drama-filled craziness. Although last night did have its moments the show almost felt like a recap of the season. So here are the three important take-aways of last night.

Stassi Has A Sex Tape

While the SUR crew was ganging up on Stassi she tried to defend her mean-girl behavior by actually outing herself. “Do you all really want to know why I dislike Scheana?” Stassi says. The cast all seems to know what Stassi is talking about but no one says anything in response. Andy Cohen has no idea what is going on so he asks what happened. Stassi let’s us all know that her ex-boyfriend came into SUR with a “video” and was showing it to everyone. Scheana watched it and apparently told him to sell it to TMZ. Scheana claims she never told him to sell it to TMZ but that is what Stassi heard.

Jax tattooed Stassi’s face on his arm

Yes, Jax is at it again with his idiotic tattoos. Does he not think?! This time he got some ink that he calls a “hybrid” of Stassi and Carmen tattooed on his upper arm. Andy Cohen asks to see it, so Jax shows it. “You are a straight up serial killer,” Stassi says in reaction to the tattoo.

Kristen admits she reached out to Miami Girl First

We finally get the truth behind the Miami girl situation. Kristen Doute finally admits that she was the one to reach out to Miami girl. This again started the Miami girl conversation. Tom still denies that he slept with this girl. Jax admits that he lied to Kristen about Tom sleeping with her. Jax claims that Miami girl told Jax that she slept with Tom and admits he did not actually see anything. Ariana says that sometimes she wishes Sandoval would cut Jax off as a friend because of all of Jax’s hurtful lying. Jax apologizes and admits he has gone over to their apartment crying and apologizing about the damage he has done. Tom clears it all up by announcing that he doesn’t sleep with girls while they are on their period, which Miami girl was. (Why do we now know the when Miami girl is menstruating? Thanks for clearing that up Tom.)

Aside from these three things not a lot else happens. Katie basically tears Stassi a new one the entire episode. Stassi apologizes to the cast for the things she has said about them. (She never apologizes!) We find out Katie actually did not “motor boat a D”. Tom Schwartz fakes a proposal to Katie. Kristen claims Jax is the root of everyone’s problems. And Jax sits around with a constant look of disgust on his face. (He was an absolute treat during this reunion show.)

Next week we will take a look at Vanderpump Rules from behind the scenes in the final episode of season 3 (tear). Until next week…

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.

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Reality Recap – Vanderpump Rules – Season 3, Episode 19 – #PumpRules

The Reunion – Part 1

Last night was part one of the Vanderpump Rules Season 3 Reunion. The reunion was held by non-other than our favorite late night host and reality reunion extraordinaire, Andy Cohen. When the show begins you see Kristen and James, Katie and Schwartz, Lisa Vanderpump, Jax, Scheana, and Tom and Ariana. Here is what happened with each of the SUR couples and cast members:

Kristen and James

Welcome to your first reunion James! (Poor little guy.) He is definitely not the most popular here. He doesn’t say a single intelligent thing this reunion episode but does try to chime in with ridiculous statements  like, “Hot people like to f*#$ hot people.” (Sorry for the language, don’t kill the messenger! That is a direct quote. AND REALLY?! Who says that? Andy Cohen had a field day with that one.)

James tells us that it was hard to go through Kristen’s obsession with Sandoval but now she is 100% over him and they are madly in love. (Yeah right!) The only other part of the reunion that involved James was reliving the fight that he and Tom Sandoval got in at Scheana’s birthday party. Here we revisited one of my favorite parts of the show, the “Beamer-selfie” vs. “Honda Civic-selfie” moment.

Kristen, in the meantime, was getting killed by Tom, Ariana, Scheana and Jax. (Mainly Jax.) Jax cannot stand her any longer and is completely disgusted with her. He yells at her several times and makes faces anytime she speaks.

One person that can stand Kristen?! (This is a shocker!) Stassi! We find out that Stassi and Kristen actually talk and see eachother once in a while.

Katie and Tom Schwartz

Katie and Tom are doing really good. Tom is very quiet, not saying much this episode.

Katie, on the other hand, looks ABSOLUTELY STUNNING! She was the prettiest of the entire night. Her hair was done differently and longer. She looked gorgeous. (I want her hair!) Katie shows that she has grown so much. She stands up to Stassi face-to-face in this episode. She talks about being such a good friend to her and not getting the same respect. She also talks about how grateful she is for going to Miami with the gang. It really changed how she felt about her co-workers and she is really happy about that.

Jax

How miserable was this guy last night? Seriously! I usually love Jax because he is light and funny. He was MISERABLE. You could tell by the look on his face that he was just really not having a good time. There was a constant look of disgust on his face.

Andy Cohen questioned Jax about everything from dating Carmen, to dating Tiffany, to dating both at the same time. He asked about Jax’s relationship with John, if they had ever been together. Jax claims that he has never had a sexual relationship with John.

Jax was also attacked about his constant over exaggerations of events. He was also accused of hooking up with a girl in the bathroom of the hotel room Tiffany had got for him. He claimed she was throwing up and they did not hook up. Sandoval does not believe that.

Jax was most miserable last night because of Kristen. He told her several times to shut up and that he hated her. He was an absolute misery to watch.

Scheana

Honestly, the little SUR diva didn’t do much on the episode. She chimed in here and there but nothing notable happened with her this episode.

Tom Sandoval and Ariana

Tonight we found out that the couple has taken the next step in their relationship and they have moved in together! In the apartment Tom used to share with Kristen. (Awkward!) Sandoval and Ariana are both completely fed up with Kristen and her psychotic antics.

Tom is also fed up with  Jax lies but says they are still friends because Jax does nothing maliciously. He claims Jax is very insecure and that is why he does the things that he does. Lisa Vanderpump disagrees with Toms analysis of Jax and thinks that Jax just does not care about anyone but himself. Tom and Jax seem to still be friends.

Stassi

Yes! Stassi actually shows up to SUR for the reunion. It is her first time face-to-face with a lot of these people. (And she shows her true emotions — anxiety, nervousness — before heading into the reunion by chugging a miniature bottle of Fireball Whiskey.) She comes in wearing a hideous white dress with black checkered lines on it. It makes her appear bigger than she normally is. (Stassi you are so beautiful! WHY THAT DRESS?!)

So what was Stassi’s part in this reunion? She was the punching bag. The cast went HAM on this girl, and deservedly so. Katie told her that she is the most selfish person she has ever met. Ariana let Stassi know that the reason she gave her a hard time was because Stassi was a horrible friend to Katie. Tom Schwartz told Stassi to shut up. Jax on the other hand said he would always be there for Stassi no matter what.

Cast members called her out for acting like she was better than everyone else and for thinking they are all stupid. Stassi claimed that she never thought the cast was stupid. They all called her out for lying about that.

Andy Cohen asked Stassi why her boyfriend never appeared on the show. She responded that this was not him scene. The cast immediately began to mock her, responding, “Because he’s a real man!”

When asked about running from Jax, Stassi explained that she has a boyfriend so it is not right of her to hang out with her ex. She also said that Jax lies to hurt people and she doesn’t want to be a part of that any longer.

Next time on Vanderpump Rules… It is reunion, part 2! Stassi seems to continue to get beat up from the cast. And Tom looks like he is giving Katie a ring (NOT A RING ON A STRING?!) Is he going to ask her to marry him? Are they engaged? How did I not see this on Instagram? Maybe it is not true! Ah!

Until next week…

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.

Reality Recap – Vanderpump Rules – Season 3, Episode 18 – THE FINALE – #PumpRules

The Finale

Last night was SADLY the finale of season 3 of Vanderpump Rules. (Don’t worry, we still have three episodes to go. Thanks for letting us know Ariana!) Here are the three things that happened in last night’s finale:

1. SUR 10 Year Anniversary Photo Shoot

Once a year, for whatever reason, Lisa Vanderpump sets up a photo-shoot for the SUR staff. (I live in Normalville, USA so waiting tables at a restaurant doesn’t come with annual photo-shoots.) Lisa plans to shoot 1950’s themed pictures at The Pink Motel and the pictures look seriously AMAZING. (See pics from staff Instagram accounts below.) The girls look gorgeous in high waisted skirts, bathing suits and shorts. The men look like “greasers” as Jax describes, wearing white tees, tight pants and leather jackets. The shoot went really well. The staff looked great, except for Jax who thought he looks awesome. “I’m not going to lie, I look good. Got the Botox going. Hairs looking good.” He says of himself. In all reality, Jax looked really odd! He shaved his face which made me realize he had a larger than normal Philtrum. (That’s the area between the nose and upper lip. Yes, I had to Google it.) On top of that, he found it sexy to flare his nostrils in every picture. I found it hilarious. (See his pictures below.)

Because the shoot was going so well, in typical dysfunctional SUR family fashion Scheana decides she must royally f*&# it up for a few people. After one shoot she called Tom Sandoval over and says she needs to talk to him. She tells him about Jax’s claim that he slept with Miami girl. Tom, mad as hell, denies it and asks why Jax is lying. Scheana doesn’t know what to believe as she thinks Jax has been on an honesty kick.

Next Scheana decides it’s right to sincerely bother the mind of her best friend as she goes into hair and makeup to tell Ariana about Jax’s confession. Ariana does not believe any of it and says, “I’m not stupid. I’m smarter than every single person I’ve met in my entire life.” (IDK what that has to do with anything.) Scheana asks her if she truly thinks anything happened in Miami. Ariana looks her in the eyes and says no. Scheana tells her that she will never bother her about it again.

Thanks to Scheana’s inappropriately timed gossip, Sandoval confronts Jax after a shoot the two have together. Jax is pissed and says that he never said Tom slept with Miami girl. (LIAR! Doesn’t this remind you of the photo shoot a few years back when the two were in towels taking pictures and totally angry with one another. It reminded the producers so much so that they flashbacked to it.) Ariana hears the two fighting and invites herself into the mix and both boys start to walk away, Jax losing his cool.

Way to go Scheana, you are totally the queen of something. That something is drama! You couldn’t just keep it to yourself and tell everyone when they were separated and in private?!

Here are some pictures from the shoot:

jax

(From left to right – Katie, Jax, Scheana, Tom, Ariana.)

scheana

(From left to right – Tom, Ariana, Scheana, Jax. Katie in front.)

james

(Top, from left to right – Scheana, James, Random SUR employee, Katie. Bottom – James.)

ariana

(From left to right -Ariana, Katie.)

katie

(From left to right – Katie,  Scheana, Random SUR employee who is too nice to be on the show.)

jax1

(Back row, left to right – Tom, Ariana, Lisa Vanderpump, Scheana, Kristina, Katie, Peter. Front row, left to right – Vail, James, Jax.)

2. Stassi gets “dethroned”

Stassi shows up to SUR to meet with Lisa and to get some goat-cheese balls. (Whatever that means.) Lisa advises Stassi to make up with Katie. She tells her Katie was a good friend to her and that Katie could also use a friend. Lisa invites Stassi to come out to the 10 year anniversary party.

Everyone shows up at SUR for the party. When I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE — Jax, Tom Sandoval, Ariana, Tom Schwartz, Katie, Peter, Vail. James comes with Kristen, after begging Lisa to allow her to come since she is forbidden to step foot into SUR again. (How does a restaurant ban work? Did Lisa take out a restraining order on the girl?) And Kristina Kelly does the unthinkable, she actually brings STASSI!

Stassi walks in and hugs Kristen and James saying, “YOLO.” Katie, Scheana and Ariana watch from a distance in shock. They also watch as Stassi does a shot with Kristen. (Ok Stassi, SO – you are no longer friends with Katie because she went to Miami with people you didn’t like so that she could be with her boyfriend but you are going to do shots with a psychotic girl who slept with your ex-boyfriend and that is ok?! Makes PERFECT sense!) Kristina Kelly (who I never really liked, mainly because she is boring and she is not hot like she thinks she is) decides she is going to stir a pot which does not need stirred by telling Stassi, “If she had any respect for your friendship she would have gotten up, came over here and said hello.” (No need to make an irrationally angry Stassi more angry.)

Stassi walks over to Katie and asks to talk to her. They sit down in the back of the restaurant.

“Why does it have to be like this?” Stassi questions Katie.

The two talk back and forth, fighting. Stassi tells Katie that her going to Miami is no reason not to talk to one another. Katie explains that she did not make that decision and that Stassi was the one not answering phone calls or texts. The two continue to fight, getting no where.

“Katie is the host body for some Scheana loving parasite that has completely taken over her,” Stassi erratically confesses to us. (Can she please have her own show?! She is truly hilarious!)

Stassi ends up leaving the conversation with no real closure or apology. The two do not make up.

Stassi goes back to the bar and talks with Lisa. She tells Lisa that she spoke with Katie. Mid-conversation Lisa warns Stassi that Jax has just walked in. She didn’t want Stassi to be caught off-guard. Stassi literally goes into full panic-mode and basically runs out of SUR while Lisa yells for her to stop.

We see Stassi walk away from SUR and the cast wishes her farewell:

“So long Stassi being jealous of me.” – Scheana (Stop thinking so highly of yourself.)
“So long Stassi’s tiara.” – Katie
“So long Stassi’s, ‘It’s my birthday!’” – Tom Sandoval
“So long Stassi’s corny statement necklaces.” – Tom Schwartz
“So long Stassi trying to boss me around.” – Scheana

(“So long Stassi’s hilarious comments.” – Me, while crying because I love her and she is hilarious!)

Kristen goes psychotic one last time

Before heading to SUR we see James and Kristen getting ready for the party. James asks Kristen if she can promise him that this will be the last time she obsesses over Tom. Kristen agrees that this will be it.

As they walk into SUR the production crew plays a song about a “Hot Mess”. (HA! Kristen’s theme song.) Kristen greets Lisa and they talk. Lisa asks Kristen what she has learned from her firing. She also asks Kristen to not cause any problems tonight. “If Tom wasn’t a cheating, liar there wouldn’t be any problems,” Kristen says in response. “Let him go,” Lisa says also advising her to make it right with Tom and Ariana.

Sandoval, with Schwartz, tells Jax that he needs to speak to him. They head outside behind the restaurant. (The usual fighting/confronting/Jax being an ass hole spot.) Jax denies ever telling Kristen that Tom slept with Miami girl. (Again, why are you lying? It is all on camera!)

“Hi boys! How’s it going? Am I interrupting something?” Kristen says walking out of SUR and into a mess.

Kristen let’s Tom and Tom know that Jax did tell her and others from SUR that Sandoval had sex with Miami girl.

Jax loses it, “They’re still not going to like you no matter what!” Jax screams at Kristen, red-faced.

“Stop deflecting Jax,” Sandoval responds.

“You’re a liar and a cheater,” Kristen says to Tom.

“And you’re a psycho,” Tom responds. “You burn through friends like Jax burns through condoms!”

Kristen gets up and walks back into the restaurant. She heads straight over to Ariana who is sitting with Lisa and Katie.

“I’ve said everything I can to your boyfriend, and to you. Good Luck!” Kristen says and then walks away.

The three look at each other with confused looks on their faces.

In the end, Vail continues to flirt with Peter. Tom VERY dramatically asks Ariana, in front of Lisa and Katie, to move in with him. (I seriously thought he was proposing in SUR. But at the same time, I knew he wasn’t because I would have seen the ring in a million Twitter or Instagram pics.) Katie tells Tom she is growing impatient with him and he better decide over the next 6 months what he wants. Lisa plays a slide show of the SUR crew’s 10th anniversary pictures while Kristen sits around rolling her eyes and pretending to throw up. At the end, you see everyone leave the restaurant and Peter lock the place up.

THE END.

Not really! OF COURSE there are more episodes but only three more. Next week is part one of the reunion and from what Andy Cohen told us on Watch What Happens Live last night, Stassi gets beat up on, pretty badly! He said the entire cast’s mood changed when she walked in. In clips for next week you see Katie really going at Stassi calling her “selfish”.

Can’t wait to see what happens!

Until next week…

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.

Reality Recap – Vanderpump Rules – Season 3, Episode 15 – #PumpRules

For Better or Worse

The episode begins at Villa Rosa (Lisa Vanderpump’s home) where you see Scheana walk over the small bridge, past the swans, to the front door. She cannot believe it has been over a year since Shay asked for her hand in marriage here at Lisa’s home, now she is getting married! Scheana, who had a wedding budget of $30,000, has tripled her costs and is coming to Lisa to ask her to provide 300 bottles of her Sangria and some vodka for the wedding.

Across town we see Tom, Schwartz and Jax hanging out with Shay. They are going to get their haircuts for the wedding. They guys bring 40’s for Shay and you see them in the street, midday, holding paper bags in the shape of bottles.

It is finally time for the rehearsal dinner, which is at SUR (because Scheana gets her employee discount there of course). Here we see all of Scheana and Shay’s family and friends including some SUR employees. James walks in alone and we find out that Kristen is not allowed to step foot in SUR. (HA!) Tom and James sit down outside to talk together. Tom feels bad for James at this point so he decides to get real with him about Kristen. Tom warns James of Kristen and shows him text messages she has sent him about getting together over the weekend to “shoot the shit”.

The next morning we see Scheana with Ariana and Katie at the wedding site. They are going over the details of the venue and ceremony with the wedding planner, Danielle — who Scheana found on Instagram. Pandora shows up soon after with her car packed with items for the reception.

Back in LA, Kristen and James are out to eat and James tells Kristen about the conversation he had with Tom. You can tell Kristen is interested and feels flattered but she is putting on a front pretending to act confused and disgusted that Tom would want to talk to James about her. James confronts Kristen about the texts she sent to Tom. Kristen says that she was not trying to get together to hang out but that she was just trying to be friendly. Then she turns back into her delusional self as she tells James that it is funny Tom thinks she is obsessed with his life because clearly he is obsessed with her life.

It is the night before the wedding and Scheana is sitting in a room with all of her bridesmaids, her mother and Katie. (Why is Katie there? I am not sure but whatever.) Scheana has gifts for all of her bridesmaids – custom wine glasses painted to look like each girl with boobs sticking out of them. The girls are going to drink out of these at the wedding. (CLASSY! You know how Scheana does, all class all the time. That’s what I would want at my wedding reception, wine glasses with boobs sticking out of them.) Scheana doesn’t leave Katie out either, “Just because you are not a bridesmaid doesn’t mean you don’t get anything,” she says to Katie. Scheana hands her a red Solo cup wine glass with ‘Katie’ written on it and a bottle of tequila. Katie is happy, smiling and laughing. In front of the rest of the girls, the two talk about how far they have come. Katie talks about the mean things she has said to Scheana and Scheana recalls names she has called Katie. They laugh over it. (Although I am not Scheana’s biggest fan she is starting to grow on me. She is annoying but she is a good friend and she forgives. She and Katie have really come a long way. Katie looks so happy here, like genuinely happy. I have always loved Katie but she has looked miserable for some time and I started to wonder about her. I am really glad for her new friendship with Scheana and Ariana because I do believe they are great friends. Although I love Stassi, I think Stassi was not always good for Katie. Katie always put in more effort and was not getting the same in return. I am really happy to see her so happy here. Go Katie!)

The night is coming to a close and the girls are getting ready for bed. Tomorrow is the big day! It is Scheana’s last night as a single woman so she decides she is going to spend the night with Ariana. Scheana climbs into bed with those HUGE ass glasses that she kept wearing last season. (What is she trying to see into with those Coke bottle glasses? Next week?!) She kisses Ariana and they turn the lights out.

It is finally wedding day and we see the girls getting ready. (They have four hours to get their hair and makeup done.) Mid-hair style, Scheana realizes that she left Shay’s wedding gift in her room at home (which is only about 30 minutes away). Scheana is in full panic mode. (It is really not that big of a deal. Shay is the nicest guy, he totally would have understood if you gave it to him later.) Scheana has gotten Shay a book of boudoir photos she took. She wants him to remember what she looked like on their wedding day because she is planning to not look that great after having a few kids. In curlers, she calls Jax, desperate for him to answer. The phone goes to voice-mail. Who else is back in LA? Kristen! She calls her in a hurry and Kristen comes through. She is going to pick up the gift and deliver it to Scheana. Ariana is not thrilled about this but Scheana has no choice. Kristen shows up and stays to get her makeup done. Bridesmaids are asking a very uncomfortable Ariana if she is ok.

The guests begin to show up for the ceremony which is located outside, overlooking mountains. (It is an absolutely stunning view.) We see Vail show up, Schwartz and Katie, Peter, Kristen and James and Jax and Carmen. (Don’t worry, Carmen and Jax are not there together as dates.) Lisa and Ken walk in later and Lisa is impressed with the amazing job Scheana has done pulling all of this together. With everyone there, Jax asks, “Who is working at SUR?” He jokes around about SUR being closed for the wedding.

Shay is with Tom Sandoval and the rest of the groomsmen in their suite getting ready. Tom is taking an extra-long time to finish his hair up. “Don’t make eye contact while he is doing his hair!” Shay says to his other groomsmen. Clearly Tom is the last to finish his look for the event. He lets us know that he may be a slight pain in the ass but the pictures are going to be around forever so he has to make sure that he looks good in them.

In the meantime, Scheana is ready to walk out and begins her way downstairs. She looks at the stage and notices that the guys are not up there yet. Scheana turns into a bridezilla and starts for freak out. “I’m not zen anymore!” She yells. (Really, you are not ‘zen’ anymore?! Get a life! Who says that?! No one goes through life totally ‘zen’ and you can be a few minutes late, it is YOUR wedding! Calm down!)

The time is 6:20PM and the wedding was set to begin at 6:00. People start to look around and wonder what is going on. Minutes later the men begin to walk out. Shay looks absolutely amazing in the jacket Tom Sandoval got for him. His groomsmen walk out, one going up to Shay and performing his secret handshake. We also see Tom Sandoval walking out with girlfriend and bridesmaid, Ariana. That image makes Kristen want to barf but Lisa Vanderpump is thrilled to see them and comments that they should be next.

Everyone is on stage and ready. The singer begins to sing. The crowd stands. And stands. AND STANDS. Where is the bride? Where is Scheana Marie? “Did she change her mind?” Lisa Vanderpump asks. NOPE! Scheana Marie is backstage acting like a little psycho diva bitch. Someone cued the singer to start and little Miss Scheana was not ready to walk out. So instead of just walking out, Scheana waits for the singer (who also works at SUR) to completely finish the song then making her begin the same song again. (All the while bitching out her wedding planner. Scheana, Instagram is not a site to hire wedding planners. You did this to yourself!) This time, out walks Scheana Marie looking absolutely gorgeous. (I am not a fan of her dress but the dress was so her! Her hair and make-up were perfect!) “She looks like a crop top bride angel. She looks breathtaking!” Katie says. (So cute, ‘crop top bride angel’!)

We watch as Scheana and Shay get married and it was really a beautiful scene. The two are so happy and they are loved by all of their 300 guests.

On the next episode of Vanderpump Rules – We see Tom and Katie sharing a moment alone at the wedding. Tom confesses to us that he could imagine himself up there on that stage getting married. He has a small gift for Katie. Scheana is all bent out of shape because all of the songs she wanted to dance to have already been played (she must have missed them, boo hoo!). Kristina and Stassi sit around making fun of Scheana’s crop top wedding dress. James flies off the handle at the reception and Kristen tells him they are done. (I cannot explain to you how excited I am to see this episode!)

Until next week!

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.

Reality Recap – Vanderpump Rules – Season 3, Episode 13 – #PumpRules

Miami Vices

The episode begins with “Miami girl”, Annemarie Kunkel, walking into a restaurant in LA. Guess who she is going to meet with? The woman who probably orchestrated this entire thing, Kristen Doute. Miami girl sits down at the table. They greet each other and Kristen finds it odd that she flew all the way out to LA from Miami. Good acting Kristen! (No one believes that you’re surprised, you created this mess.) Kristen, full of anticipation, calls the waiter over and orders her and Annemarie a bottle of wine at what looks to be about noon. (It also looks like they are at the same place Peter and Vail had that really awkward date at last week. I could be wrong.) Miami girl tells Kristen that Tom (Sandoval) was great and such a nice guy. She said Tom held her hand and her arm. She said that her and Tom talked for seven to eight hours and had a “heart-to-heart”. He told her that he was single. He said he had a girlfriend for a long time but they broke up because he cheated on her. Miami girl then decides add fuel to a delusional, obsessive persons fire by saying, “I think he is still in love with you. It was all Kristen, Kristen, Kristen.” Then she tells Kristen that they had sex, at which point Kristen sheds a tear and says things like, “gross” and “disgusting” as the girl is sitting there. (I thought that was hilarious.)

Next we see Tom Schwartz hopping around in a suit. He is modeling suits for Santorelli. During this boring segment of the show we find out Tom used to be a pre-med major in college. (Yeah…the guy who has anxiety attacks while bartending was going to be a doctor!? Everyone should be grateful knowing he will not be practicing medicine anytime soon.)

Back at SUR we see Kristen, decked out and looking as good as she possibly can since she knows Tom is coming in. She is not working this day but sitting at a table by the bar with her friend in a black and white dress with her hair curled. They are waiting for Miami girl to walk in. (They must have put together some type of plan in which Miami girl comes in without Kristen so she can see if Tom reacts.) Tom and Ariana walk into work together and we see Tom at the main bar serving customers. While Tom is making a drink, Miami girl walks up to the bar and says, “Hi.” Then she orders a cosmo. Tom says hello back but almost instantly knows something is up. He walks over to the other bartender and asks him to serve the girl at the end of the bar. He then leaves SUR. (This is where I get confused and find Tom to be very suspicious. Why did he leave if he is not guilty? What is going on? How did he know and recognize her?) Kristen sees Tom leaving and has a big grin on her face. She gets Miami girl and takes her out the back door, the way he left. They are outside the restaurant now, in the employee parking lot when you see Ariana walking down Melrose Avenue on the phone. Miami girl calls out her name. What an idiot?! Do you really think she is going to stop to talk to your lunatic ass? Ariana ignores her and keeps walking confessing that it felt like a scene from ‘The Walking Dead’. Tom and Ariana get into an Uber and head home.

Kristen and her posse of psychos head back into the restaurant and get a table outside the front of the restaurant. While there, Scheana and Vail show up. Scheana confronts Kristen about the entire thing, “What is going on?” Kristen introduces Scheana to Miami girl and Scheana refuses to shake her hand. (Scheana, you do realize you are as trashy as this girl is, right? Actually, you are worse. This girl may or may not have slept with your best friends boyfriend of a year. You slept with and carried on a relationship with a married man who had a child and a pregnant wife at home.) Anyways, Scheana, dramatic as always, loses her mind. She starts screaming like a crazy person who should probably be 302ed to the psych ward. (Oh, that cannot be good for those vocal chords since she is such an amazing singer.) She tells Kristen, “You promised me you wouldn’t do this.” But that is not what Scheana is concerned about. Scheana doesn’t care about Kristen bringing Toms mistress to the restaurant to confront him! No! She is worried about this non-related event ruining her wedding.

          “LISTEN TO ME!!!” Scheana cries loudly, desperately and most of all pathetically.

          “Keep your voice down,” a level-headed Vail says.

          Scheana snaps back like a little chihuahua, “NO I DON’T CARE!”

Scheana goes on to ask how Kristen could do this the week of her wedding.  (I mean, really Kristen? Couldn’t you do this another week? This IS Scheana’s wedding week. The most important week of our year. This is totally going to carry over to and ruin her entire wedding. I (tear) do not think I can take any more of this, on the week of the most important wedding of the world. You know what Scheana, you would be so lucky for any of these crazies to care so much about your lame wedding to a man who tells you your tone def voice sounds good. You should just be praying to God every day that Brandi Glanville doesn’t show up drunk reminding everyone how you ruined her marriage.)

With all the yelling, Diana, a manager at SUR, comes out to see what the hell is going on in her place of work. This is where things get even better. At this point, Kristen decides that ruining Tom’s relationship is more important than keeping her job as she tells her manager,

“Diana, walk the f*** away now.”

“Diana walk away, you don’t own this restaurant”

“S*** a d***!”  (Trying to keep this clean is tough!)

Outside of SUR we see Schwartz and Jax out on a little man date.  They are so cute together, talking and hanging out over drinks. Tom asks Jax about his ex-girlfriend, Carmen.  Jax says he is going to ask her to be his date to Scheana and Shay’s wedding.  He plans to take her shopping, get her a new dress, shoes and a handbag to win her back.  Jax claims, “Girls are weak,” and that doing romantic things will win her back. (We give birth! Get a life.) Jax goes on to say that he is trying so hard to get Carmen back that he is even doing things he doesn’t want to. He tells Tom that he has to go out to dinner with James and Kristen since Carmen and Kristen are good friends. Jax is so disturbed by this that he tells Tom, “I would rather watch grass grow or make out with my sister before hanging out with James.” He then tells Schwartz that Kristen keeps texting him to come to SUR. Tom asks him if he is going to go. Jax responds, “Are you kidding me? I’m not hanging out with that nut job.” Then explains to us that on a 1-10 scale of craziness Kristen is a 15-20. (I wonder where Jax falls on that scale.)

Katie comes to pick the boys up and tells them what went down at SUR. The guys were shocked. Katie said that she does not think Tom is guilty of sleeping with Miami girl but she does think he is guilty of something, she just doesn’t know what that something is. She asks the guys, since they were in Miami when Kristen claims something happened, but they both said they didn’t see anything. She finishes by saying that eventually the truth will come out.

Lisa Vanderpump finally shows up at SUR with husband, Ken and is bombarded by manager, Diana before she even steps foot in the door. Diana tells Lisa that she was disrespected by an employee and she needs to talk to her. Lisa looked disinterested asking which employee. “Kristen,” Diana says. Lisa immediately takes Diana by the arm and pulls her aside. Diana tells Lisa everything. Lisa asks Ken how many chances she can give Kristen. Ken tells Lisa, “You can’t fire her until you hear her side of the story.” Lisa agrees and calls Tom to tell him that he needs to come back to work. Tom agrees and you see him and Ariana come back to SUR and kiss several times by the back bar before heading back to work.

With impeccable timing, Miami girl, shows back up to SUR and heads right over to the main bar where Tom is working. She walks up to Tom and starts talking to him again.

“We had sex,” she says loudly.

“No we didn’t,” Tom responds.

“We had sex, yes we did!” She says almost yelling.

(Poor Tom, how embarrassing.)

In the meantime, Ariana, who is working at the back bar, overhears the confrontation and heads over to the main bar to get in on the action. “I don’t know what all this is about,” Ariana says to Miami girl while waiving her finger back and forth. She then takes care of the situation as she has Ali, the security guard, escort Miami girl out of SUR. (And this is why you don’t stalk people, show up at their job and think everything is going to go well. Idiot!)

Next week look forward to Jax and Schwartz discussing whether or not he cheated on Katie. A serious discussion between Katie and Schwartz about what happened in Vegas. (No! Schwartz!)

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.