REALITY RECAP – THE BACHELOR – SEASON 20, EPISODE 7 -#THEBACHELOR

Athletchicz is storming mad because Ben sent ImBECCable Becca home. We have an idea why. Here’s our opinion on the night:

Ben brings six girls home to Warsaw, Indiana—six nice girls—but the nicest is Becca.

He rides in on a pontoon boat, takes the girls out on a lake, and later asks LB (of course) out on a date in front of the other girls. Athletchic loves Measly-mouthed little LB, but we wanted him to ask Becca. Here’s:

The Warsaw No-Rose One-on-One Date

He drives around in his red truck showing LB where he grew up. They stop at the Baker Youth Club where he use to work, and producers bring in Paul George and George Hill from the Indiana Pacers because kids aren’t Bachelor fans. Measly-mouth is lovable. Later he takes her to his apartment, and they hold hands and drink wine. She talks about his lame accusation last week that she acts differently when he’s not around.

She tells him she was concerned that he listened to what someone else said about her and couldn’t defend herself.  They talk it out, kiss, make up and go to a hometown bar to meet Ben’s friends. We move on to the next date disappointed, feeling like the other Bachelorettes are right. He likes LB best:

The One-on-One No-Rose NoJo Date

Ben meets NoJo at Wrigley Field where Cubs’ shirts, tagged Mr. and Mrs. Higgins on back, are awaiting them. Ben admits he’s a big Cubs fan. They take turns at bat, and Ben hits more like a girl than Nojo. (My husband’s words.) They get along great. Ben says there’s passion. They have dinner on the field. NoJo says she’s a little insecure. He reassures her and yada, yada, here’s the thing: Nojo is nice but we like Becca. So we are on to:

The Becca-Caila-Mommy Group Date

I’m going to shorten this because I’m flipping mad. It’s not a fun group date. He doles out alone time to each girl. Mommy says she wants him to meet her girls in her squeaky voice even though she just told the camera she wasn’t sure she wanted him to meet them. Don’t-know-if-she-likes-Ben Caila cries that she’s not part of a big group like Ben. And Becca says please don’t blind side me.

Mommy Amanda gets the night’s only rose, and Ben sends Becca and Don’t-know Caila back to the house. Athletchic is so mad that we don’t watch the rest of the date.phonto (9)

Here’s our opinion: First, Athletchic feels if Ben isn’t 99% sure he is going to pick Amanda in the end, then taking her home to meet her two little girls is just downright selfish. Period.

Second, Amanda is a replica of LB. Tiny, little, submissive blonde and Athletchic is beginning to feel Ben is so insecure he will only pick an insecure partner. And he’s three for three:  LB, Nojo and Mommy Amanda. See the pattern? Onward:

The Oh-My-Gosh-He’s-Actually-Taking-TwinEm-Home Date

Yep, he takes TwinEm home. This was another shocker. TwinEm is adorable and again, we love her too, but clearly she is too young for this show. Producers only selected her because she and her twin are beautiful, but they forgot to tell Ben.

She meets the fam. Tells his mother she wants to be a cheerleader and his father that she doesn’t like vegetables. Momma Higgins cries and Ben sends TwinEm and her beautifully-blue, teary eyes home.

We are on to the:

Worst-Rose-Ceremony-in-Bachelor-History  

Ben goes ahead with the rose ceremony. Becca doesn’t get a rose. And there is only one question left to ask:

What do you not understand about the word blindside, Ben?

Hope you are feeling good about yourself, Ben, but Athletchic is broken hearted. Prince Charming reduced to a toad.

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Cyndie Zahner is a freelance writer and NO LONGER a The Bachelor fan. Follow her on Twitter @tweetyz or on Instagram @athletchicz.

 

 

REALITY RECAP – THE BACHELOR -SEASON 20, EPISODE 4 -#THEBACHELOR

Becca is back baby!

LB is sweet, Caila is fun and everyone’s still deciding about GI Jubilee, but Athletchic is flying high because Becca came back strong tonight when she scored one of two one-on-one dates in the wedding capital of the world, Viva Las Vegas! Here’s what happened:

The First One-on-One Helicopter-Rooftop Date

Before the date card arrives, Cankles talks big. She says Ben is her man and that she is “Zen with Ben,” (ripping this season’s biggest-loser title away from Luny Lace). But Jojo obliterates her dreams by getting the first date card.

Ben and Jojo Horse Head (we just can’t get that picture out of our heads) go to a roof top and sip Champaign on a little table as a helicopter descends to take them away. But all goes wrong as it lands close to them. The glasses fly out of their hands, the table tips and rolls, and for a minute we think Jojo’s top is going to fly right off her. The other Bachelorettes laugh as they watch from the hotel window. But the laughing stops when Ben takes Jojo in his arms and kisses her.

He continues kissing her (all in) on the Helicopter ride, and on the evening date, Jojo plays her sympathy card by admitting five months ago her ex cheated on her. Ben is sorry. She’s sure she’s ready for a new relationship. Ben is glad and yada yada, she gets the rose.

They go to yet another rooftop, fireworks erupt, and the Bachelorettes back at the hotel sadly remark it must be for Jojo. Cankle cries. One Twinnie says it is their home town, and she would have liked that. Then the camera switches back and forth from Ben kissing Horse Head (clearly not one of our favs) and Cankles saying she is still the front runner.

We move to the group date:

The Show-Me-What-You-Got Group Date

All the remaining girl’s names except Becca’s (yippee) are on the group date card. Becca smiles. Cankles pouts in the corner, and Kindergarten-teacher Lauren says she hopes they don’t have to put on nipple tassels. (Not very kinderly.)

Ben says he wants a girl who is fun and can come out of her shell, and he takes the girls to a show hall where they announce the girls will be the opening act for the Terry Fator ventriloquist show. Caila and Emily are super stoked. Cankles is confident and LB covers her face and says she has no talent.

Here’s how they do: The Twinnies twin it up to an Irish dance (A+); GI Jubilee plays the cello (B+); LB juggles humbly (B+); Mommy hula hoops (B); Caila hula dances (B+); Never–can-remember-her Rachel (we think) makes balloons (B); Kinder Lauren recites a poem in a chicken suit (C-); Leah pogo sticks across the stage in a clown suit (B), Jennifer or Rachel (not sure) hits balls with a tennis racket through a hula hoop (C-), Amber doesn’t get a grade because she doesn’t get on camera (not looking good), and you get the feeling the producers are setting Cankles up for the big one.

And they are. They roll out a cake, play music, and Cankles jumps out and does an I-talked-it-up-too-much-and-now-clearly-this-isn’t-working rendition of anything but a sexy dance. Ben covers his face. LB says it’s cringe-worthy. The other girls wince through their face-covering fingers, and even Athletchic feels sorry for this chic. It’s that bad. Afterwards, the ventriloquist insults Cankles, the other girls say they had fun, and Cankles crawls off in the corner and cries through a panic attack, saying she thinks Ben was mortified (looked it).

But she doesn’t disappoint. Here’s how the evening date alone time went:

Caila admits she had group-date stage fright, says she is shy but then goes in for a kiss.  Ben says she’s sweet but a tigress. Ben kisses her back (all in).

Kinder Lauren goofs off with a doll from the show. Ben says he wants to know the cute, fun-loving woman. Lauren kisses the doll, then Ben, and Ben kisses her back looking all in (almost).

Olivia asks to talk with him, says she needs a drink, that she did awful, but Ben graciously lies and says she was great. Cankles lies and says she’s not showy. Ben lies and says it wasn’t bad and one of the Twinnies cuts in (go Twinnie). Cankles leaves dejected in her washed-out colored dress/skort and then tells the camera she is scared

Sweet LB admits to Ben that she misses him and that it’s hard to navigate the feelings of everyone dating the same guy. Ben asks what he can do. And LB says all the right things: that there are a lot of amazing, wonderful women left and why would she be lucky enough for him to pick her. (Athletchic is out of her seat shouting at Ben to go get the rose!) Ben kisses her all in and LB moves to Athletchic’s second favorite bachelorette. (Ok she was always second.)

Twin Em gets three minutes with Ben because Cankles interrupts and gets second alone time. Ben apologizes to Em. Cankles says she wants to start over. She snaps her fingers (and we hope she disappears) and says she’s having a rough day. She wants to apologize. Ben says don’t apologize. She apologizes again. Don’t. Apologize. Don’t. Apologize and Ben gives her a peck on the cheek just to get rid of her.

And the rose goes to—LB! (Athletchic rises to her feet and cheers!!!!!!)

The Long-Awaited, One-on-One Ben and BECCA Date 

A box with a note arrives that says get dressed, it’s a big day. Becca pulls out a wedding gown. She puts it on; it fits like a glove. She is drop-dead gorgeous and all of the girls become upset.

But GI Jubilee puts everything in perspective by saying Becca is still a virgin, and if she hasn’t lost her virginity in 26 years, she isn’t going to lose it in six hours (best bash ever).

Becca and Ben arrive at a Las Vegas wedding church, and he gets down on one knee and asks Becca if she wants to marry……other people with him. Ben has been ordained and the two have some fun marrying couples (legally). Becca thanks him for choosing her to do this with him.

The evening date goes (imBECCAbly) well.  They talk virginity, non-virginity, beliefs, hopes, and we come away fully aware that Becca is way more into Ben than she ever was into Chris. And clearly she is not only Athletchic’s top runner, but one of Ben’s, too. She gets the rose and honestly we don’t remember the rest because we are too busy dancing around the room in glee.

Then, the next day we find out (ah-oh) there is going to be one more date:

The Oh-No-One-Twin-Is-Going-Home Double Date

Emily and Haley get an LV home-town date with Ben. He surprises them by taking them to see their mom, and this quickly turns into the most awkward home town date in Bachelor history. He lays on Ems bed and chats. Lays on Hay’s bed and chats. (We think, but honestly we can’t tell them apart.) Mom tells him Emily is more dominant, outgoing, but Haley is a thousand percent in once she opens up. Em throws Hay under the bus and then Ben talks seriously with all of them, looking each in the eye and addressing them as “Mom, you and you…” (He can’t tell them apart either) and says he is having more feelings for Emily as the twins sit there holding hands.(Then he hopes the right one stands up–but he can’t tell.)

Here’s the thing. It was bad enough one of them had to go. Did they really have to do it this way? We are sure this was the producer’s idea, but Athletchic is disappointed that Ben didn’t refuse to do this. Emily cries harder than Haley, and we move awkwardly along to the rose ceremony.

The Rose Ceremony

The drama continues as We-still-aren’t-sure-who-she-is Jen takes Ben away for alone time but only gets three minutes with him because (sigh) Olivia breaks in. Blah, blah, blah later, the other girls get alone time. GI Jubilee whines about feeling insecure, but Cankles hogs the drama by continually interviewing about how sure she is that she’s getting a rose and how she hates it that she gets the last rose, so we are hopeful—extremely hopeful—that they are setting her up to go home.

And the roses go to Amanda (mommy); Lauren H (Not-so-Kinderly); GI Jubilee; Twin Em (wow—that would have been awkward); Caila; Still-not-sure-who-she-is Jennifer; Leah; and last but not least—Cankles (they set us up-not her).

Sadly, we say goodbye to Rachel and Amber instead of Cankles, and we remain angry at producers for sending twin Haley home so awfully.

Here’s the deal, Ben, unless you are 100% sure that Emily is the girl for you, and we highly doubt you are, you should have sent them home together.

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Cyndie Zahner is a freelance writer and The Bachelor enthusiast. Follow her on Instagram @athletchicz and on Twitter @tweetyz.

 

 

 

 

REALITY RECAP – THE BACHELOR – SEASON 20, EPISODE 2 – #THEBACHELOR

I’m-not-crazy Lace beats out Mad-Hatter Mindy for the Bachelorette more likely to play Lorena Bobbitt in a lifetime Movie.

After seven days, Athletchic was still scratching her head and wondering how these two girls made it to day two.  Ben picked them last in episode one, reviving rumors that the Bachelor really only gets to pick 18 out of 20 girls and the producers pick 2.

Here’s what happened Monday night:

Back-to-School Group Date

Ben picks Jackie, LB, Becca (yippee), Lauren H, Three’s-the-charm Amber, Mad-hatter Mindy, G-I Jubilee, Jennifer and, take a deep breath, Looney Lace who says this will be her opportunity to prove she’s not crazy (not).

The girls compete at a school to be the Home Coming Queen. First, they must complete a project to make a volcano erupt. G-I Jubilee gets stuck partnering with Lace and loses. The rest move on to a bob-for-apples competition (lame) where Jackie and Jennifer  are knocked out of the games.

The others move to a geography test. Becca and Jojo put Ohio on the map sideways (embarrassing) and they are out. The final four shoot hoops. Mindy and Amber win but have to race each other on the track, jumping hurdles. Amber talks it up but Mindy beats her and then drives around the field in a convertible with a homecoming crown and Ben. (Weird.)

On the evening date, the girls fight for time with Ben.

Becca takes Ben aside and shoots some hoops (nothing but net), but he doesn’t kiss her. He kisses Jennifer on her alone time. LACE steals him away during Mad Mindy’s alone time and says she isn’t crazy but afterwards says they were staring so intensely at each other that they were eye F’ing (crazy). Fortunately, Jubilee steals Ben away, tells him she was born in Haiti, spent her first years in an orphanage. They hug. He kisses her, but we think she’s more into it than him.

Lace goes off the deep end (Apparently she’s forgotten that she’s not F’ing crazy.) and steals him away again to tell him that she’s not crazy. The girls have a fit. Ben takes Jojo for a walk, says he likes her and then kisses her (all-in) on the top of a building with the lights of LA romantically glowing in the background.

He gives the rose to Jojo. Jubilee cries. I’m-not-crazy Lace gets crazy and we all move on to:

The First One-on-One Date

Newsy says she will be surprised if she doesn’t get the first one-on-one date. Surprise!

The date goes to Caila. But before they leave, Ice Cube and Kevin Heart show up to “Ride Along” and the four embark on an LA adventure that has everyone wondering how anything could ever get done with Heart in tow. He even shows up in the hot tub with Ben and Caila—naked! But mercifully leaves them before the evening date where the two head to a quiet dinner, and Caila hits an absolute home run with Ben (Athletchic, too). He gives her the rose, they walk off, see their names on a Theater Marquee, go inside and Amos Lee gives them a private concert. Clearly this chic is going to give Becca a run for her money.

The Five-blondes-and-a-Russian Group Date

Passed-the-bar-exam Sam, Newsy, the twins, Amanda and Shashana take off to a scientific love research lab to determine who is the most compatible with Ben.

They flash pictures in front of each girl and study them. Blindfold Ben and have him smell them (yep) and then go into a room individually and touch Ben while the other Bachelorettes watch their colored energy on a screen. Olivia wants to kiss Ben while she is there, but Ben’s not having it. Says he won’t kiss her in front of everyone. (You gotta love this guy.) The lowest score, most incompatible, goes to Bar-exam Sam, who Ben said smelled sour. Her score was 2.4 of 10. Newsy Olivia earns the most compatible score of 7.5 but loses face with the other women.

She says she was confident that it would turn out that way and laughs out a “Winning” that makes viewers sorry they ever liked her. On the evening date, Ben talks to her first. They kiss. She goes back to the other girls. Won’t tell anything. And the girls think she thinks she’s high and mighty.One twin talks to Ben. He smells Jojo again and tries to make her feel better by saying she smells like passion fruit and, miraculously, Shashana talks to him fluently in English. Amanda tells Ben about her two little girls. Ben takes it well. Says kids don’t scare him and kisses her.

But he gives the rose to Olivia. The other girls get mad. Amanda cries and wonders if this is worth being away from her girls. And we are on to the Rose Ceremony.

The Rose Ceremony

Newsy Olivia pisses everyone off when she takes Ben away even though she already has a rose. Lace says she’s not crazy but takes Ben away at least twice, maybe three times, and then steals Newsy away for a conversation that we heard but still aren’t sure what it was about.

Then Bachelor Ben shows his true colors. He steals Amanda away and sits gluing little flowers on little barrettes for Amanda’s daughters, reminding us how much we like him.   

And the roses go to Amanda (glad he picked her first), G-I Jubilee, Lauren B, Hiked-the-football Leah, BECCA , Can’t-remember-anything-about-her Rachel, I’m-not-crazy-Lace (really?),LB—but wait—she wants to talk to him.

She takes him out of the room and tells him she just can’t do this. It’s too hard. He walks her out to the car and you spot glimpses of I-m-not-lovable Ben.

Once back, Ben hands out the remaining roses to—Jennifer, Twin Emily, Jaime the bartender (w-what? not twin number two?), Lauren H, Shashana, Twin Hayley (phew-that would have lowered his notch) and Third-time’s-the-charm Amber.

And we waived good bye to Mad Mindy (one down, one to go), Jackie and Passed-the-bar-exam Sam.

Boring overall, but Bachelor Live afterwards spiced it up by bringing in Chris Jenner, who is a Bachelor fan. She is down-to-earth, smart, kind and a joy to watch. She sits alongside Chris Soules (we still can’t figure out why he is hanging around), answers questions and gives advice kindly to Newsy Olivia by saying she may want to tone it down a bit.

Later, Jimmy Kimmel wonders if Ben was afraid NOT to pick I’m-not-crazy Lace and Athletchic yawns and   turns the DVR on to watch Vanderpump Rules. Next week has got to be better.

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Cyndie Zahner is a freelance writer and The Bachelor addict. Follow her on Twitter @Tweetyz or on Instagram @athletchicz.

 

REALITY RECAP – THE BACHELOR – SEASON 20, EPISODE 1 – #THEBACHELOR

He may be the most boring Bachelor ever but Athletchic.com is lovin’ Ben Higgins!

Last night The Bachelor tweets beat out Vanderpump Rules tweets, stinging the big anticipated Katie-and-Tom engagement episode. That’s how BIG Ben Higgins is. (Not to be confused with last year’s Big Ben.)  And yep, Athletchicz  taped Katie’s big night to glimpse Benny in is fine taylored suit.

It’s going to be a long season for Athletchic (#1VanderPumpRulesfan) and Athletchicz (#1TheBachelorfan).

The show  went like this:

Meet the Parents in Indiana

Ben comes from money. (No surprise.) His Mom captures viewer’s hearts when she actually cries Ben close up in carreminiscing the Season 19 Episode when Ben said he may be unlovable. We already love her. And we love her son. He comes across as a small-town 26-year-old with a big heart.

Then we move back to LA to:

Get Advise from Other Bachelors

This was the really confusing part. Why were Chris Soules and Jason Mesnick giving advice?

Sean Lowe, we love. But Jason? Really? He picked the wrong Bachelorette and then traded her in at the Aftershow. And Chris Soules was barely better. Although we adored his choice, Whitney, Athletchic knew he wouldn’t be able to live out his days on the farm with that voice. They split.

Awkward.

Let’s move on to the girls:

The Bachelorettes 

As usual, there are a few favorites and a few psychos.

Athletchic favorites are Laurin, the flight attendant (darling); Jubilee, the kick-ass war veteran; Caila (ok we weren’t lovin’ the jump-into-Ben’s-arms opening but she reprieved herself later); and Olivia, the newscaster.

First on the psycho list is the Dentist, Mache Mandi, who came in with a seven foot paper mache rose on her head; the twins (that’s just plain weird);  and Jojo horse head (yep, you got it, she came in with a horse head on); but even Jojo couldn’t beat out Meagan for the craziest entrance because Meagan came in with a horse. (At least I think it was a horse. If you didn’t see it, don’t ask.)

Oh and two other Bachelorettes deserve a mention. Trust me. There is no category for these. First, Tiara gets a mention for her occupation. What the heck is a Chicken Enthusiast? (Actually we don’t want to know.) And Shashana get’s a mention because, well, she’s Russian and we can’t understand a word she’s saying. (Seriously? How desperate were they?)

On with the show:

The Surprise that Rocked Athletchicz’s World 

Ok, my life is boring but, drum role, BECCA IS BACK!!!!! If you’ve read past blogs you know we love Becca. She was our all-time favorite, and we are swimming in hope that she’s the one for Ben.

Another past Bachelorette, Amber, came along with Becca. But honestly, we don’t think she’ll be flaunting that old saying–the third time’s the charm.

On to the Party and Rose Ceremony 

No big drunken stupor like last year’s opening, but Lace had a little too much and talked trash; Meagan sealed her ‘going home’ status by combining a Texan accent with sailor trash talk; and the Newsy, Olivia, got the first impression rose and was quite nice about it.

Here’s who Benny picked and in this order:

Lauren B (yippee); Kayla somebody; Amber (third-timer); Jami (the bartender); Forgot-to-say-her-name Jennifer (she didn’t introduce herself when she got out of the limo); Jubilee (yeah!); Amanda (mother of two adorable little girls); JoJo horse head;  Hiked-a-football-through-her-legs-to-Ben  Leah (awkward); Can’t-remember-anything-about-her Rachel; I-passed-the-bar-exam Sam; Jackie; twinnies Em and Hay (geesh); Shashana (not feelin’ it); Lauren H; BECCA (HALLELUJAH); Mad as a hatter Mandi; and Lunatic Lace.

The others go home and Lunatic Lace pulls Ben away from the celebratory toast to begin the games. She tells him he picked her last (no kidding) and didn’t once look into her lunatic eyes, and we all come away thinking this chick thinks she’s his girlfriend already and this may be the best Bachelor season ever!!!!!

Woohoo! Who knew the Bachelor could cure the winter blues? Can’t wait for next week!

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Cyndie Zahner is a freelance writer and The Bachelor addict. Follower her on Twitter at @Tweetyz and Instagram @athletchicz.