Reality Recap – Vanderpump Rules – Season 3, Episode 20 – #PumpRules

Reunion Part 2

Ok so you all know by now that I absolutely LOVE Vanderpump Rules, right?! Well then you have to trust me when I say last night’s episode was a real bore. I love reunions on Bravo because they are usually a lot of drama-filled craziness. Although last night did have its moments the show almost felt like a recap of the season. So here are the three important take-aways of last night.

Stassi Has A Sex Tape

While the SUR crew was ganging up on Stassi she tried to defend her mean-girl behavior by actually outing herself. “Do you all really want to know why I dislike Scheana?” Stassi says. The cast all seems to know what Stassi is talking about but no one says anything in response. Andy Cohen has no idea what is going on so he asks what happened. Stassi let’s us all know that her ex-boyfriend came into SUR with a “video” and was showing it to everyone. Scheana watched it and apparently told him to sell it to TMZ. Scheana claims she never told him to sell it to TMZ but that is what Stassi heard.

Jax tattooed Stassi’s face on his arm

Yes, Jax is at it again with his idiotic tattoos. Does he not think?! This time he got some ink that he calls a “hybrid” of Stassi and Carmen tattooed on his upper arm. Andy Cohen asks to see it, so Jax shows it. “You are a straight up serial killer,” Stassi says in reaction to the tattoo.

Kristen admits she reached out to Miami Girl First

We finally get the truth behind the Miami girl situation. Kristen Doute finally admits that she was the one to reach out to Miami girl. This again started the Miami girl conversation. Tom still denies that he slept with this girl. Jax admits that he lied to Kristen about Tom sleeping with her. Jax claims that Miami girl told Jax that she slept with Tom and admits he did not actually see anything. Ariana says that sometimes she wishes Sandoval would cut Jax off as a friend because of all of Jax’s hurtful lying. Jax apologizes and admits he has gone over to their apartment crying and apologizing about the damage he has done. Tom clears it all up by announcing that he doesn’t sleep with girls while they are on their period, which Miami girl was. (Why do we now know the when Miami girl is menstruating? Thanks for clearing that up Tom.)

Aside from these three things not a lot else happens. Katie basically tears Stassi a new one the entire episode. Stassi apologizes to the cast for the things she has said about them. (She never apologizes!) We find out Katie actually did not “motor boat a D”. Tom Schwartz fakes a proposal to Katie. Kristen claims Jax is the root of everyone’s problems. And Jax sits around with a constant look of disgust on his face. (He was an absolute treat during this reunion show.)

Next week we will take a look at Vanderpump Rules from behind the scenes in the final episode of season 3 (tear). Until next week…

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.

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Reality Recap – Vanderpump Rules – Season 3, Episode 16 – #PumpRules

Ring on a String

We pick back up on this week at Scheana’s wedding. Kristen is crying tears of joy, the cast gets a picture with the married couple, Scheana is explaining to Lisa why it took her so long to walk down the aisle. Here is what happens with each couple during the reception:

SCHEANA & SHAY

Scheana brags about her life to the camera, “I have a husband. None of my friends have a husband. That’s awesome!”

Back at the wedding, Scheana is freaking the f*&# out because the DJ is mistiming her walk out song with Shay. She is yelling at her wedding planner and refuses to go out.

“The whole reception is f*$%ed,” she screams.

She makes the DJ stop the song he is playing and re-start it because she is suppose to come in at 24 seconds. (Geez, get it right!) Once they finally walk out Scheana does a good job putting on a fake happy smile for the crowd.

A really sweet Shay looks at his wife, “I love you so much. This is insane.”

Scheana makes an announcement to all of her guests. No drinks on the dance floor. She doesn’t want anyone to “break their teeth” on a slippery floor. She has a bad experience with that in the past. (SO that is how she chipped her tooth last season. She was so emotional about that tooth that she blocked me on Twitter after I made fun of her for it. Calm down girl, your teeth are fine.)

Later, we see Scheana being the Bridezilla she is. She is bitching out her wedding planner:

“All the songs I wanted to dance to already played.” (Wahhh!)

She screams at this poor woman about tossing the bouquet, cutting the cake and doing a dollar dance. Scheana says if these things do not get done within the next five minutes, she will grab the microphone and do it all herself. (I would have loved to see that.)

In the end, Ariana calms Scheana down and tells her no one knows things are not going as planned.

“To everyone else, this has been an amazing night.”

Ariana tells Scheana that she loves her and gives her a hug. Ariana asks Scheana to dance and the two run off to the dance floor. Scheana ends up having an amazing time. (Thank God Ariana has great crisis intervention skills. You may have a career in therapy, my friend!)

LISA & KEN

Kristen sees Lisa and Ken and decides to say hello. Ken ignores her and walks away. Lisa stays and talks to her. They both confront one another about things that have happened. Kristen looks miserable but is faking that she is really happy.

“You just don’t like me,” Kristen says to Lisa.

Although it sounds interesting, nothing really happens here. The two go back and forth for a little while and finally Kristen hugs Lisa and they go their separate ways.

PETER & VAIL

Very boring and totally predictable — Vail is flirting with Peter sending him all the wrong signals. She doesn’t want to date him but admits that she flirts with him and that the flirting will not stop. (So histrionic of her.)

Katie & Schwartz

Schwartz says that while watching the wedding he was thinking that he could see himself up on that stage, getting married. He sits at the table with Katie discussing the type of music they would want played at their wedding. Tom takes Katie to a private area and says he wants to talk to her. He apologizes for being a jerk. He pulls out a little box and opens it up. It is a RING ON A STRING! Poor Katie, she starts to cry. She confesses to us all that they have been dating for four years and she is pushing 30 so this is not a good sign. Schwartz then realizes this was a big mistake. He admits to us that he fears commitment.

Later, Lisa finds Katie alone and crying. She asks what’s wrong and Katie tells her about the RING ON A STRING. Lisa starts to cry with Katie. She asks Katie if Tom is worth waiting for. Lisa says that if he is, she should carry on waiting for him and if not, she needs to tell him what she wants. Katie confesses that she needs to stand up for herself. (This was a really cute talk between the two. You can tell Lisa really cares for Katie.)

JAX & CARMEN

“This is the nicest wedding I’ve ever been to. But it is also the first wedding I have ever been to,” says Jax.

Jax is at the wedding trying to get with Carmen, which is not working. He asks Carmen to dance but she is leaving. Jax is offended thinking Carmen would spend the night with him. Carmen makes it clear she never said she would stay with him. Once Carmen leaves we see Jax trying to pick up other girls and falling flat on his face:

“I am trying to spit game and garbage is coming out of my mouth,” he confesses.

At one point we see him flirting and joking around about “sealing the deal” with Lisa. (Awkward!)

STASSI & KRISTINA

Back in LA, Stassi and Kristina are hanging out. Kristina sees pictures of the wedding on social media so decides to show Stassi. Stassi is so excited to see the pictures:

“That is the ugliest effing wedding dress I have ever seen in my entire life,” Stassi says getting her first glimpse of Scheana on her wedding day.

Stassi tells us that it “puts a giant smile” on her face to see Scheana wearing a crop top wedding gown.

“It’s your wedding day, try not to look like a hooker today,” Stassi says again referring to Scheana.

She then goes on to comment on Lisa’s wedding garb, “Lisa is wearing a bondage gown and she looks hotter than me. It’s annoying.”

The two laugh about the matching tux’s Ken and Giggy wore to the wedding.

Stassi later says that Scheana’s reception looks “so beautiful”. Kristina asks if Stassi is sad that she is not there at the wedding with everyone. Stassi says no and laughs.

TOM SANDOVAL & ARIANA

You see Tom several times tearing up the dance floor. (It is hilarious.) Tom & Ariana lay pretty low this episode. The one notable thing that happened was this –

Tom says to his friends, “When I want to go on vacation, I just look into Ariana’s eyes.” (WHO SAYS THAT?! I died when I heard that.)

He goes on to say, “I’m f*&#ing in love with you,” to her.

She talks about this relationship being the closest she has ever been to wanting to get married.

KRISTEN & JAMES

James, upset about Kristen’s obsession with Tom, tells us, “I’m already butt-hurt about Kristen.”

So he decides, “I’m turning up.”

We see James having many drinks and getting drunk. Kristen looks completely annoyed with him. Max and James are sitting alone talking when they see Kristen leaving with her trainer.

James chases after her, “You treat me like a f*&^ing boy toy.”

He is yelling and getting close to her.

“Get out of her face,” the trainer yells at him.

James describes why he is so angry in the moment, “You don’t want to see your girlfriend walking away with a guy with a dumb face and a stupid beard.” (I got many laughs out of that.)

James finally tells Kristen, “We are done because you are in-manageable.” (Poor James. He doesn’t even know what he is saying.)

Kristen punches James in the face.

“You’re a slut,” He screams at her, walking away. “You’ve f&^@ed everybody at SUR!”

James gets back to the reception and walks straight up to Tom. He tells him about the punch.

“Don’t make excuses for her,” Tom says to him.

“I love her,” James tells him.

Tom says that he knows. He invites James to come hang out at his room after the reception and tells him that he is welcome to stay the night there.

 

In the end, the crew wakes up early to clean up. After the fight between Kristen and James the night before, Scheana says she will never invite Kristen to anything ever again. Katie realizes that if Stassi had her way, she would not be here with this group of people having so much fun. Lisa admits, “Scheana actually did it. She pulled off a princess wedding on a waitress salary.” Finally, we see the group pulling flowers out of the fountain together. “I’m having a beer and candy for breakfast. This is awesome.” Scheana says.

 

Next time on Vanderpump Rules – Jax tells Tom that Kristen is blowing his phone up daily to talk about Tom. Tom tells Jax to not discuss any of his business with Kristen. James is fed up with Kristen talking about Tom 24/7. Kristen denies that she talks about him. Kristen and Stassi are meeting up. Kristen wants to know how she can get Jax to tell on Tom (since Stassi got Jax to turn on Kristen last season). “So you need my help,” Stassi says in a menacing tone. (She loves to be in control.) We finally see Kristen crying to Scheana saying she doesn’t feel bad for Ariana because she was the reason Kristen and Tom broke up. (This episode looks amazing. Don’t they all?!)

Until next week!

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.

Reality Recap – Vanderpump Rules – Season 3, Episode 15 – #PumpRules

For Better or Worse

The episode begins at Villa Rosa (Lisa Vanderpump’s home) where you see Scheana walk over the small bridge, past the swans, to the front door. She cannot believe it has been over a year since Shay asked for her hand in marriage here at Lisa’s home, now she is getting married! Scheana, who had a wedding budget of $30,000, has tripled her costs and is coming to Lisa to ask her to provide 300 bottles of her Sangria and some vodka for the wedding.

Across town we see Tom, Schwartz and Jax hanging out with Shay. They are going to get their haircuts for the wedding. They guys bring 40’s for Shay and you see them in the street, midday, holding paper bags in the shape of bottles.

It is finally time for the rehearsal dinner, which is at SUR (because Scheana gets her employee discount there of course). Here we see all of Scheana and Shay’s family and friends including some SUR employees. James walks in alone and we find out that Kristen is not allowed to step foot in SUR. (HA!) Tom and James sit down outside to talk together. Tom feels bad for James at this point so he decides to get real with him about Kristen. Tom warns James of Kristen and shows him text messages she has sent him about getting together over the weekend to “shoot the shit”.

The next morning we see Scheana with Ariana and Katie at the wedding site. They are going over the details of the venue and ceremony with the wedding planner, Danielle — who Scheana found on Instagram. Pandora shows up soon after with her car packed with items for the reception.

Back in LA, Kristen and James are out to eat and James tells Kristen about the conversation he had with Tom. You can tell Kristen is interested and feels flattered but she is putting on a front pretending to act confused and disgusted that Tom would want to talk to James about her. James confronts Kristen about the texts she sent to Tom. Kristen says that she was not trying to get together to hang out but that she was just trying to be friendly. Then she turns back into her delusional self as she tells James that it is funny Tom thinks she is obsessed with his life because clearly he is obsessed with her life.

It is the night before the wedding and Scheana is sitting in a room with all of her bridesmaids, her mother and Katie. (Why is Katie there? I am not sure but whatever.) Scheana has gifts for all of her bridesmaids – custom wine glasses painted to look like each girl with boobs sticking out of them. The girls are going to drink out of these at the wedding. (CLASSY! You know how Scheana does, all class all the time. That’s what I would want at my wedding reception, wine glasses with boobs sticking out of them.) Scheana doesn’t leave Katie out either, “Just because you are not a bridesmaid doesn’t mean you don’t get anything,” she says to Katie. Scheana hands her a red Solo cup wine glass with ‘Katie’ written on it and a bottle of tequila. Katie is happy, smiling and laughing. In front of the rest of the girls, the two talk about how far they have come. Katie talks about the mean things she has said to Scheana and Scheana recalls names she has called Katie. They laugh over it. (Although I am not Scheana’s biggest fan she is starting to grow on me. She is annoying but she is a good friend and she forgives. She and Katie have really come a long way. Katie looks so happy here, like genuinely happy. I have always loved Katie but she has looked miserable for some time and I started to wonder about her. I am really glad for her new friendship with Scheana and Ariana because I do believe they are great friends. Although I love Stassi, I think Stassi was not always good for Katie. Katie always put in more effort and was not getting the same in return. I am really happy to see her so happy here. Go Katie!)

The night is coming to a close and the girls are getting ready for bed. Tomorrow is the big day! It is Scheana’s last night as a single woman so she decides she is going to spend the night with Ariana. Scheana climbs into bed with those HUGE ass glasses that she kept wearing last season. (What is she trying to see into with those Coke bottle glasses? Next week?!) She kisses Ariana and they turn the lights out.

It is finally wedding day and we see the girls getting ready. (They have four hours to get their hair and makeup done.) Mid-hair style, Scheana realizes that she left Shay’s wedding gift in her room at home (which is only about 30 minutes away). Scheana is in full panic mode. (It is really not that big of a deal. Shay is the nicest guy, he totally would have understood if you gave it to him later.) Scheana has gotten Shay a book of boudoir photos she took. She wants him to remember what she looked like on their wedding day because she is planning to not look that great after having a few kids. In curlers, she calls Jax, desperate for him to answer. The phone goes to voice-mail. Who else is back in LA? Kristen! She calls her in a hurry and Kristen comes through. She is going to pick up the gift and deliver it to Scheana. Ariana is not thrilled about this but Scheana has no choice. Kristen shows up and stays to get her makeup done. Bridesmaids are asking a very uncomfortable Ariana if she is ok.

The guests begin to show up for the ceremony which is located outside, overlooking mountains. (It is an absolutely stunning view.) We see Vail show up, Schwartz and Katie, Peter, Kristen and James and Jax and Carmen. (Don’t worry, Carmen and Jax are not there together as dates.) Lisa and Ken walk in later and Lisa is impressed with the amazing job Scheana has done pulling all of this together. With everyone there, Jax asks, “Who is working at SUR?” He jokes around about SUR being closed for the wedding.

Shay is with Tom Sandoval and the rest of the groomsmen in their suite getting ready. Tom is taking an extra-long time to finish his hair up. “Don’t make eye contact while he is doing his hair!” Shay says to his other groomsmen. Clearly Tom is the last to finish his look for the event. He lets us know that he may be a slight pain in the ass but the pictures are going to be around forever so he has to make sure that he looks good in them.

In the meantime, Scheana is ready to walk out and begins her way downstairs. She looks at the stage and notices that the guys are not up there yet. Scheana turns into a bridezilla and starts for freak out. “I’m not zen anymore!” She yells. (Really, you are not ‘zen’ anymore?! Get a life! Who says that?! No one goes through life totally ‘zen’ and you can be a few minutes late, it is YOUR wedding! Calm down!)

The time is 6:20PM and the wedding was set to begin at 6:00. People start to look around and wonder what is going on. Minutes later the men begin to walk out. Shay looks absolutely amazing in the jacket Tom Sandoval got for him. His groomsmen walk out, one going up to Shay and performing his secret handshake. We also see Tom Sandoval walking out with girlfriend and bridesmaid, Ariana. That image makes Kristen want to barf but Lisa Vanderpump is thrilled to see them and comments that they should be next.

Everyone is on stage and ready. The singer begins to sing. The crowd stands. And stands. AND STANDS. Where is the bride? Where is Scheana Marie? “Did she change her mind?” Lisa Vanderpump asks. NOPE! Scheana Marie is backstage acting like a little psycho diva bitch. Someone cued the singer to start and little Miss Scheana was not ready to walk out. So instead of just walking out, Scheana waits for the singer (who also works at SUR) to completely finish the song then making her begin the same song again. (All the while bitching out her wedding planner. Scheana, Instagram is not a site to hire wedding planners. You did this to yourself!) This time, out walks Scheana Marie looking absolutely gorgeous. (I am not a fan of her dress but the dress was so her! Her hair and make-up were perfect!) “She looks like a crop top bride angel. She looks breathtaking!” Katie says. (So cute, ‘crop top bride angel’!)

We watch as Scheana and Shay get married and it was really a beautiful scene. The two are so happy and they are loved by all of their 300 guests.

On the next episode of Vanderpump Rules – We see Tom and Katie sharing a moment alone at the wedding. Tom confesses to us that he could imagine himself up there on that stage getting married. He has a small gift for Katie. Scheana is all bent out of shape because all of the songs she wanted to dance to have already been played (she must have missed them, boo hoo!). Kristina and Stassi sit around making fun of Scheana’s crop top wedding dress. James flies off the handle at the reception and Kristen tells him they are done. (I cannot explain to you how excited I am to see this episode!)

Until next week!

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.