Reality Recap April 9-15

The week starts off of Monday with American Idol duet week, 12 of the top 24 paired with star talent like Train lead singer Pat Monaghan, the guy who sings Despacito, Sugarland, some random girl named Bishop Briggs, Allen Stone, Andy Grammar who the F are these people and Aloe Blacc. The judges kept saying everyone was great so it was a shock that they actually voted anyone off, but they did say goodbye to Layla Spring, KayKay, Trevor, Dominique and Brandon. No I don’t know remember who most of those people are and yes that weird Catie girl is still in and I hope she wins! The most notable thing from the entire episode was Katy Perry looked ri-GD-diculous in some bogus ass off the shoulder gold dress! It was hideous, trust me and go Google it!

On my favorite show, Vanderpump Rules all hell is breaking loose like it normally is as the crew heads back to LA after their trip to Mexico. Kristen has to explain her alone time with James to her boyfriend Carter, who is the most amazing man in the world and stays calm and tells Kristen not to put herself in those kinds of situations. Jax decides to confront Adam about trying to get with Brittany. Poor Adam has no idea what Jax is talking about because clearly Scheana made all this shit up. Adam is not into Brittany and knew she was with Jax. Jax loses it and flips out on basically everyone at SUR including Lisa and Ken. He stands at the hostesses podium flipping everyone the bird before heading out front to bitch at Sandoval.

In another world, on Teen Mom OG, Farrah is still no where to be seen and we all are so very grateful for that. Poor Catelynn who just got out of rehab has to go back because she is having troubles. Mackenzie and Ryan are pregnant but Ryan gives zero shits, is being an ass and still looks high.

On Tuesday we catch up with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills who are still hanging out in Berlin. Vanderpump has to leave to get an award for her dog movie. A compassion award, HA! The girls are taking a boat ride and they are all scared looking back on the past boat rides they’ve had over the years. Erika is late getting on the boat as we find out it takes forever getting into a latex outfit. She gets out of a car an walks towards the boat nearly getting run over by a bike at which point she eyes the camera man and continues to catwalk towards the boat. Can you imagine wearing latex?! My God this woman is strong, I’ve run marathons, birthed a baby but I could NOT wear latex for even a short amount of time! That is one tough bitch and that is way she is my Real Housewives GOAT! You keep on keeping on girl! She then takes the girls on a journey down a dark, wet alley scaring the shit out of them all to take them to an invite only restaurant where they have dinner and she calls out Teddi for her pretend amensia comment! “I have one issue pretend amnesia”. Dorit can’t go on though, bitch needs to make sure the candles at the table are lit. She can’t sit, not even for a moment, and look at unlit candle! Who is Dorit? To Dorit, Hell is a place where people look at unlit candles and drink out of the wrong glasses! Whatever! Erika and Teddi finally squash their shit because again, Erika is EVERYTHING! Rinna realizes that the girls are having the time of their life and all getting along because VANDERPUMP isn’t there! I actually 100% agree with this!

On the finale of the Challenge: Vendettas you knew right away you weren’t going to know who won when you read your TV guide and it said, “Part 1”. Here we go again! We have to sit through listening to The Miz mediate a bunch of really lame conversations and arguments amongst the cast. We find out Nicole has hooked up with Gemmy, that one annoying girl from the U.K. is a huge bitch to Nelson and says he’s a stalker, Cara Maria and Kyle aren’t dating they were just having fun, I shed a little tear about that. They pulled a grenade on us and won’t tell us who won until next week. Yawn.

In Married at First Site the couples get back from their second honeymoon and are almost to decision day. Jonathan and Molly have not spoken in days. Molly finally gets caught in a lie as her therapist calls her the F out which almost sends Molly off the deep end. Jonathan video taped a rant of her calling him disgusting after she was in a bar flirting with another guy on their second honeymoon. I think I know how this relationship will end come decision day! In the meantime Jacqueline needs to get out of this marriage while she still can, Ryan sucks and has sucked the entire season.

Wacky Wednesday gets new life as The Real Housewives of New York comes on. Carole completes the NYC Marathon in 6 hours, Luann wants to be the Countess, oh no honey, last season you went against everyone’s advice and twirled and said, “The only title I’d trade Countess for is Wife”…no no no, there is no going back. The wannabe Countess continues to toot her own horn by bragging about her music saying she has 3 dance hits acting like people are jealous?! Girl the only thing people are jealous of is the balls you got on you to get up and sing being as tone def as you are!

Survivor has officially become the most boring show on television. I don’t even know why I’m talking about it. Domenick is acting like a complete dbag but no one cares, I want to barf just mentioning his name. They all decide to vote off the only hot guy left on the island, Chris, while a Childish Gambino look alike busts on him telling him to stop rapping. “Put the mic down put the pen down ur trash at rapping chris “the rapper”.”

While getting ripped on Thirsty Thursday, we all head back down south in Charleston, where the cast of Southern Charm is literally grilling up their best session yet, in Episode 2 Craig is still acting like a salty woman who’s been trapped in the kitchen all day except he clearly doesn’t know what he is doing, I could watch him attempt to cook all day. Shep calls Craig his foil but by the end they are actually getting along. In the meantime, Naomi Kathryn Danni and Chelsea make up the “Break Up Bunch” and I seriously am about to get a divorce and move to Charleston to join them #squadgoals they come into Sheps party with a bang! Thomas’ new girlfriend, Ashely, is thirsty AF and is just trying to cause problems, her and Kathryn have a very awkward conversation/introduction. Ashley is clingy AF because she sees how Thomas looks at Kathryn and is scared. Ashley makes Thomas come into the bathroom with her later in the episode, eye roll! If you are home bored go find Ashley on Instagram and notice her and Landon are besties, boring! And read people trashing her in her comments section! My god! Entertainment for days! The show comes to a close with Naomi calling out JD HARDCORE and embarrassing him infront of everyone! Let’s get the good old boys!

On the Jersey Shore Family Vacation stuff finally starts to heat up as Snooki and Vinny start to get really awkward. Basically Snooki cheated on Gianni with Vinny before they were married so Gianni probably isn’t happy that years later a better looking Snooki is going to be living with an even better looking Vinny in Miami for a while. Nicole wants Vin to stay away claiming he is trying to ruin her marriage bc he keeps messing with her. In the meantime the crew goes rock climbing and in a race between nicole and Deena to the top of a rock wall, deena destroys snooks leaving her the job of cleaning up after ronnies bathroom mishaps. I literally almost gagged just watching this!

Last night, Sunday on Real Housewives of Atlanta we are on part two of the three part reunion. Marlo wants everyone to Google her business, Simply Marlo LLC. I did and literally nothing came up! She dated a billionaire who bought her home and her mom’s home. Eva comes out and is about to give birth as she’s literally in labor and her contractions are 10 mins apart. Andy questions Kim about her big ass lips.

Finally, Khloe announces her baby’s name…. True Thompson!

Talk to you all next week!

Bethenny talks marriage, divorce, and coming back to Housewives on Watch What Happens Live. #WWHL #RHONY

Andy Cohen sits down with Bethenny Frankel

With the start of Real Housewives of New York right around the corner, Andy Cohen had a one-on-one with returning cast member Bethenny Frankel last night on his show Watch What Happens Live. If you missed it, it was REALLY good! I am going to let you guys know what happened, what questions Andy asked and how Bethenny responded. (FOREWARNING: I did not fully transcribe the interview, I just took down the important stuff and some of the information in here will just be summarization.) Here is what went down:

Andy Cohen: Are you divorced?

Bethenny Frankel: “No.”

Andy: Do you guys live together?

Bethenny: “I don’t know where I live. I may sleep here tonight.”

Andy: What ruined the relationship?

Bethenny: “Fame, attention and money does not bring out the best in everybody. Money is root of all evil.”

Andy: What did you learn?

Bethenny: “I learned you need to go with your gut. I learn more from mistakes than successes.” Frankel says. She explains that as a woman your biological clock starts to tick and you want certain things in life but relationships are hard and don’t work like that. “I’m so precise and matters of the heart aren’t like that,” she explains. “Cracks become craters,” she says explaining that little things that come up in relationships that feel wrong eventually build up and turn into bigger things. She says as women we try to make situations look “pretty” and confessed that she was really good at that.

Andy: Would you ever get married on TV again?

Bethenny: “No.”

Andy: Do you believe in marriage?

Bethenny: “I will never get legally married to anyone ever again.”

Andy: Why did you come back?

Bethenny: “I don’t think people know me anymore,” She explains. She talks about how everyone read about her in the press and how everyone saw her on her talk show but doesn’t really know her. She forgot how “liberating” reality television is and she said that it feels “comfortable” for her. She also expresses that she really misses the connection between her and the viewers. She explains that she went through so much of her life with the viewers and she truly missed that bond.

Andy: At one point did you think you were too big for the show?

Bethenny: “At times I was embarrassed about the show,” she admits. “Now coming back I feel proud to do it.” She says that it feels like a different show now because it seems more honest and real.

Andy: Will Brynn (Bethenny’s daughter) be on the show?

Bethenny: “No! She is a little girl and I don’t want that for her. We are adults we can make those decisions.”

Andy: You and Ramona start off with a bang in the second episode. (They play a clip of Ramona fighting with Bethenny because both women planned brunches.)

Bethenny: “Oh, God! We’re still here! I’ve gone on this big journey and we are still here,” she explains of her relationship with Ramona. “It evolves,” she tells us. “It’s a season for transition.”

Andy: Let me ask you about the other housewives. Carole is new to you.

Bethenny: “We get along well.” (They show a clip of Bethenny and Carole out to dinner. They are laughing as Carole tells Bethenny of a dream she had about the two being lesbians together. It was a cute clip. I knew they would get a long!)

Andy: What about Heather? You both has strong personalities.

Bethenny: “She worked my nerves on the show.” (Cut to a clip of Heather confronting Bethenny several different times on the show.)

Andy: With the show about to premiere there are a lot of stories about you being difficulty to work with. Are these from the other housewives?

Bethenny: “Yes.”

Andy: Do you sell stories?

Bethenny: “No.”

Andy: Any contact with Alex or Jill from the previous seasons?

Bethenny: “I saw Jill at a party and said hi,” She tells us. She explains that it was just small talk between the ex-besties and that she has no ill will for Jill. (Wow, nice rhyme.) She also said she has not seen Alex who has since moved to Australia.

Andy: Asks about housewives from other series.

Bethenny:  “I like her,” Bethenny says when asked about Nene Leakes of Real Housewives of Atlanta. “I enjoy her company. She makes me laugh. At least she is being honest, this is who she really is,” she says of the famous housewife.

Bethenny: “It’s been contentious from afar,” Bethenny says of her relationship with Teresa Giudice of Real Housewives of New Jersey. “She would talk about me and it became really cowardly. It was not a face-to-face battle because I don’t know her. She’s a mother and to be away from your kids, I can’t think of something worse. It always amazes me the type of person who goes on a reality television with skeletons in the closet.”

Andy: Dating anyone?

Bethenny: “I’m not dating anyone now.”

Andy: As Cher says, “Do you believe in life after love?”

Bethenny: “I do believe in life after love.”

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.

Reality Recap – Real Housewives of Atlanta – Season 7, Episode 14 – #RHOA

Hello Mr. Chocolate

The show starts with Kenya and Cynthia arriving at Claudia’s beautiful Atlanta apartment. The last time Kenya was there the apartment was bare. Claudia has put the entire place together and it is absolutely beautiful. She has the most gorgeous view of the city. The girls sit down on the couch to talk about Porsha’s welcome party. Claudia tells the girls that she went to support Porsha since they will both be working for Rickey Smiley. Claudia starts to cry and the girls ask her what is wrong. She shares with us all that people do not think she has feelings because she puts on such a tough front but she confesses that it is just a disguise to hide her emotions. She says that it feels like she is in “high school” because of the way Porsha is acting. She talks about trying to congratulate Porsha and make up with her. Porsha was not interested in making things civil.

Across town, Kandi and Todd are packing for their trip to Los Angeles. We find out that Todd has booked Kandi a role on a movie so they are going out to film her part. The job will last for only a day but Todd lets Kandi know that he will be staying in LA for the full week. Kandi gets upset and asks why he will not be coming home with her. He tells Kandi that he wants to stay to party.

At 10:00PM the night before Apollo is to report to a Kentucky prison, Peter pulls up to the home Apollo shares with Phaedra in a white Mercedes to pick Apollo up. Apollo is not right at this point. He gets in the car and tells Peter that Phaedra is having an affair with an African man name ‘Chocolate’. Apollo says that Phaedra’s phone went off when she was out of the room. Apollo decided to check it and saw a text from a man named Chocolate. In the phone he finds a chain of texts between the two. In the messages there was a selfie Phaedra took, texts that said, “I love you”, and a text that said, “A week from now I’ll be off the plantation” — implying that once Apollo was in jail, Phaedra would be free. Apollo has saved all the texts and is now reading them to Peter. (The entire time Peter is driving and leaning over to see the texts in Apollo’s phone. I was seriously concerned for both of their lives because Peter was so distracted I thought they were going to get into an accident.) Apollo tells Peter he went berserk about it and told Phaedra, “People kill people” over these kind of situations. Peter is very concerned over all of this.

Peter gets home, “CB!” He yells as he walks through the front door. Cynthia comes down the stairs to see what is going on. Peter tells Cynthia about the affair that Phaedra is having with Mr. Chocolate. He tells her about Apollo and how he went nuts. (Peter tells the story to Cynthia with a giant smirk on his face, almost like he is going to start laughing. I cannot tell if this is a completely fabricated story or if Peter just loves the name Mr. Chocolate.)

In the meantime, Kenya is writing and casting for a pilot about her life. We see her writing lines and going through auditions. Cynthia comes in to audition for a part and did a very good job! She was dressed up in a Jamaican outfit with crazy makeup on. She was hilarious and knew the lines very well. She actually did a really good job and they loved her. The other notable person who showed up to audition was D.Woods, who was auditioning for the part of Robin, Kenya’s older sister. D.Woods had a role in Kandi’s play and Kenya thought she was amazing. (If you are a reality TV super fan like myself, you will remember D.Woods from MTV’s Making the Band. She was a member of Danity Kane!) Kenya really likes D.Woods but wonders if she will be believable as Kenya’s older sister since she is younger.

Claudia goes to talk to her boss, Rickey Smiley, about the radio show she is co-hosting with him. She wants to get some tips on how to do better so she can progress in her career. (If you have not heard the Rickey Smiley Morning Show, listen to it. I do every morning and it is HILARIOUS. Rickey Smiley’s voice is amazing and he is SO FUNNY. Claudia is wonderful on the show too!) Rickey asks Claudia about Porsha in which Claudia explains that she had tried to make up with Porsha but that it did not go so well. Rickey says that Porsha is in the building so he is going to go get her and fix things. Claudia is not thrilled about this. Rickey comes back with Porsha and conducts a small therapy session. Porsha (who I used to love) is acting totally immature like she has been. Rickey gets everything to a somewhat civil point and then makes the girls stand with him, hold hands and pray. Claudia (and myself) found this to be really weird!

Kandi is returning home from LA. Her friend is over and is asking how everything went. Kandi tells her about a fight she has with Todd, she says Todd is staying in LA for the week. She wonders if Todd has been cheating because they don’t sleep together as often as she would like. (All of this is total news to me! I did not see this coming.) Kandi admits that the two need to go to therapy together.

Back at Phaedra’s, she and her assistant are walking into the home for the first time since she has left with her kids to stay at a resort to be away from a threatening Apollo. Phaedra surveys the home making sure nothing is broken or torn down. The doorbell rings and we find that Phaedra is hiring people to come change all the locks on the house and the garage door opener. While in the garage talking with one of the men she hired she sees Apollo pull up in his white BMW. Apollo looks like a crazy man. He walks in the house and is yelling. Phaedra is confused because Apollo was talking with the kids earlier that day on his way to Kentucky to report to jail. He was supposed to be in jail already, or so Phaedra thought. (I think Apollo told Phaedra he was leaving for prison earlier than he had to so he could come home and catch her with Chocolate. That is just my theory.) Apollo lets us know that he doesn’t have to report for another 72 hours. He is yelling about the locks changing, he tells Phaedra to make sure that his clothes from the laundry are put away. Phaedra sits in the garage with her assistant somewhat ignoring his craziness. He tries to get a rise out of her saying something about her boyfriends clothes. Phaedra doesn’t really pay attention to it and eventually calls Apollo’s friend ‘Bun’ and asks him to come get Apollo. Bun comes and gets Apollo out of the house. Minutes later Apollo comes back to the house, pulling into the driveway like a mad man. He comes into the house and picks up a drill. He storms into the garage with drill in hand and walks straight up to Phaedra. She tells him to get away from her with the drill. He puts it down and gets close to her. He whispers in her ear, “Don’t call the cops.” (I was honestly scared for Phaedra at this point. He was really losing it. I am also surprised how calm her assistant stayed during the entire thing. The two of them, Phaedra and her assistant, looked hilarious standing next to each other in the garage watching Apollo both with their arms crossed, shaking their heads.)

Next time on the Real Housewives of Atlanta — Kandi, concerned about her relationship with Todd, asks him if he did it all over again, would he marry her. We don’t yet hear his answer but we do see Kandi crying. The girls all find out about Phaedra’s affair. While out to dinner, Kenya calls out Phaedra about the affair with an African guy named ‘Chocolate’. You then see Phaedra get up and start to swing her purse at Kenya as all the girls are yelling, “No!” (Looks like things are finally going down on RHOA.) 

Until next time…

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.

Reality Recap – Real Housewives of Atlanta – Season 7, Episode 12 – #RHOA

The girls get back from Puerto Rico and we start the episode watching Nene and Cynthia telling their husbands about the trip. Nene gets in her black, Maserati with Greg and dishes about her interaction with new housewife, Claudia Jordan. In the meantime, Cynthia – who is wearing the most ridiculous, blue cowboy hat, see below – is in her kitchen filling in Peter (husband) and Malorie (sister) on Puerto Rico and her relationship with Nene. Nothing new here, Nene and Cynthia are still not friends. Cynthia and Malorie look for the ‘friendship contract’ that she signed with Nene years ago. Cynthia finds it,  crumples it up, runs to the kitchen and lights it on fire in the sink.

Kandi and Todd have been attempting to get pregnant but have been having some trouble so they go to see Married to Medicine’s Dr. Jackie. Kandi, 38, has been off of birth control for over a year and is wondering if Todd could be the problem. They find out that Todd is not the problem but that they should start living a little more healthily if they want to conceive.

Cynthia’s husband, Peter, is having a grand opening party for his new bar and lounge, Sports One. Cynthia calls the girls to see who wants to make the three hour drive to attend. At this point in the show we find out Claudia is in, so Cynthia calls Kenya to see if she would like to join. “This is Twirl,” Kenya answers the phone. (Yes, Twirl! Why would she not answer the phone like that?) Kenya says she wants to attend but she hates driving. Cynthia says they will each drive an hour so Kenya agrees to go but says that she needs to be put up in a five star hotel and needs full hair, makeup and wardrobe. Twirl is quite the diva.

As it turns out, Claudia drives the entire way as Twirl is in the back seat acting like a 14 year old girl. She hangs up Cynthia’s phone while she is talking to Phaedra (see below), she moons guys out the window on a highway and while pulling into a gas station she makes the girls turn on her song, ‘Gone with the Wind Fabulous’ and proceeds to sing it loudly while hanging out of the sunroof waiving her arms. (Gosh, she is great!)

Phaedra, on the other hand, is not having the best episode as we see her talking to her mother about soon to be ex-husband, Apollo and his report to jail date. We later see Apollo alone with sons Ayden and Dylan at a frozen yogurt shop.  He sits down at a table with them and tries to explain to them that he is going away for a long time.

He makes a good attempt at trying to explain this by asking the kids what happens to them when they get in trouble. Then asking what would happen to ‘mommy or daddy’ when they get in trouble. He asks the kids how they feel when he is away from the home. Ayden, who seems overly intelligent for his age, responds “bad”.  This part of the show is really sad. It is clearly Apollo’s fault that he is going to prison for eight years but it is so sad for his family. It has ruined his relationship with Phaedra and it is going to hurt the boys. In this episode you really see how much joy Apollo brings his kids. Both kids are so happy to be with him, Ayden very talkative with him, clearly expressing his love for his father and Dylan, barely old enough to speak, jumping up and down, looking at Apollo with a smile on his face saying, “Dada, Dada.”

The real excitement of this episode comes when Cynthia, Kenya and Claudia finally make it to Peter’s opening of Sports One. We come to find out that Kordell Stewart, former NFL player and Porsha’s ex-husband, is Peter’s business partner. The girls are all excited to see Kordell. Claudia says she has known Kordell for a while and sits down next to him to chat.  Everyone makes a huge deal about it and Peter attempts to play matchmaker. He keeps saying, “She’s so cute,” of Claudia and continues to say how good they look together. Claudia explains that she works with Porsha everyday so she would never do that, even though they are not friends. She does flirt with Kordell, hanging out alone with him, giving him her number, telling him not to call her late at night and taking a selfie with him.

I definitely saw it all as flirting but Monday morning on the Rickey Smiley Morning Show she claimed that her and Kordell are friends and have been for 15 years. Peter was a guest on the show and claimed he was not trying to hook them up, even though it seemed like it. He said if you thought he was trying to hook the pair up then, “You must have not been watching the show.” No Peter, we were watching and you were definitely playing matchmaker.

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Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.