Last night was SADLY the finale of season 3 of Vanderpump Rules. (Don’t worry, we still have three episodes to go. Thanks for letting us know Ariana!) Here are the three things that happened in last night’s finale:
1. SUR 10 Year Anniversary Photo Shoot
Once a year, for whatever reason, Lisa Vanderpump sets up a photo-shoot for the SUR staff. (I live in Normalville, USA so waiting tables at a restaurant doesn’t come with annual photo-shoots.) Lisa plans to shoot 1950’s themed pictures at The Pink Motel and the pictures look seriously AMAZING. (See pics from staff Instagram accounts below.) The girls look gorgeous in high waisted skirts, bathing suits and shorts. The men look like “greasers” as Jax describes, wearing white tees, tight pants and leather jackets. The shoot went really well. The staff looked great, except for Jax who thought he looks awesome. “I’m not going to lie, I look good. Got the Botox going. Hairs looking good.” He says of himself. In all reality, Jax looked really odd! He shaved his face which made me realize he had a larger than normal Philtrum. (That’s the area between the nose and upper lip. Yes, I had to Google it.) On top of that, he found it sexy to flare his nostrils in every picture. I found it hilarious. (See his pictures below.)
Because the shoot was going so well, in typical dysfunctional SUR family fashion Scheana decides she must royally f*&# it up for a few people. After one shoot she called Tom Sandoval over and says she needs to talk to him. She tells him about Jax’s claim that he slept with Miami girl. Tom, mad as hell, denies it and asks why Jax is lying. Scheana doesn’t know what to believe as she thinks Jax has been on an honesty kick.
Next Scheana decides it’s right to sincerely bother the mind of her best friend as she goes into hair and makeup to tell Ariana about Jax’s confession. Ariana does not believe any of it and says, “I’m not stupid. I’m smarter than every single person I’ve met in my entire life.” (IDK what that has to do with anything.) Scheana asks her if she truly thinks anything happened in Miami. Ariana looks her in the eyes and says no. Scheana tells her that she will never bother her about it again.
Thanks to Scheana’s inappropriately timed gossip, Sandoval confronts Jax after a shoot the two have together. Jax is pissed and says that he never said Tom slept with Miami girl. (LIAR! Doesn’t this remind you of the photo shoot a few years back when the two were in towels taking pictures and totally angry with one another. It reminded the producers so much so that they flashbacked to it.) Ariana hears the two fighting and invites herself into the mix and both boys start to walk away, Jax losing his cool.
Way to go Scheana, you are totally the queen of something. That something is drama! You couldn’t just keep it to yourself and tell everyone when they were separated and in private?!
Here are some pictures from the shoot:
(From left to right – Katie, Jax, Scheana, Tom, Ariana.)
(From left to right – Tom, Ariana, Scheana, Jax. Katie in front.)
(Top, from left to right – Scheana, James, Random SUR employee, Katie. Bottom – James.)
(From left to right -Ariana, Katie.)
(From left to right – Katie, Scheana, Random SUR employee who is too nice to be on the show.)
(Back row, left to right – Tom, Ariana, Lisa Vanderpump, Scheana, Kristina, Katie, Peter. Front row, left to right – Vail, James, Jax.)
2. Stassi gets “dethroned”
Stassi shows up to SUR to meet with Lisa and to get some goat-cheese balls. (Whatever that means.) Lisa advises Stassi to make up with Katie. She tells her Katie was a good friend to her and that Katie could also use a friend. Lisa invites Stassi to come out to the 10 year anniversary party.
Everyone shows up at SUR for the party. When I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE — Jax, Tom Sandoval, Ariana, Tom Schwartz, Katie, Peter, Vail. James comes with Kristen, after begging Lisa to allow her to come since she is forbidden to step foot into SUR again. (How does a restaurant ban work? Did Lisa take out a restraining order on the girl?) And Kristina Kelly does the unthinkable, she actually brings STASSI!
Stassi walks in and hugs Kristen and James saying, “YOLO.” Katie, Scheana and Ariana watch from a distance in shock. They also watch as Stassi does a shot with Kristen. (Ok Stassi, SO – you are no longer friends with Katie because she went to Miami with people you didn’t like so that she could be with her boyfriend but you are going to do shots with a psychotic girl who slept with your ex-boyfriend and that is ok?! Makes PERFECT sense!) Kristina Kelly (who I never really liked, mainly because she is boring and she is not hot like she thinks she is) decides she is going to stir a pot which does not need stirred by telling Stassi, “If she had any respect for your friendship she would have gotten up, came over here and said hello.” (No need to make an irrationally angry Stassi more angry.)
Stassi walks over to Katie and asks to talk to her. They sit down in the back of the restaurant.
“Why does it have to be like this?” Stassi questions Katie.
The two talk back and forth, fighting. Stassi tells Katie that her going to Miami is no reason not to talk to one another. Katie explains that she did not make that decision and that Stassi was the one not answering phone calls or texts. The two continue to fight, getting no where.
“Katie is the host body for some Scheana loving parasite that has completely taken over her,” Stassi erratically confesses to us. (Can she please have her own show?! She is truly hilarious!)
Stassi ends up leaving the conversation with no real closure or apology. The two do not make up.
Stassi goes back to the bar and talks with Lisa. She tells Lisa that she spoke with Katie. Mid-conversation Lisa warns Stassi that Jax has just walked in. She didn’t want Stassi to be caught off-guard. Stassi literally goes into full panic-mode and basically runs out of SUR while Lisa yells for her to stop.
We see Stassi walk away from SUR and the cast wishes her farewell:
“So long Stassi being jealous of me.” – Scheana (Stop thinking so highly of yourself.)
“So long Stassi’s tiara.” – Katie
“So long Stassi’s, ‘It’s my birthday!’” – Tom Sandoval
“So long Stassi’s corny statement necklaces.” – Tom Schwartz
“So long Stassi trying to boss me around.” – Scheana
(“So long Stassi’s hilarious comments.” – Me, while crying because I love her and she is hilarious!)
Kristen goes psychotic one last time
Before heading to SUR we see James and Kristen getting ready for the party. James asks Kristen if she can promise him that this will be the last time she obsesses over Tom. Kristen agrees that this will be it.
As they walk into SUR the production crew plays a song about a “Hot Mess”. (HA! Kristen’s theme song.) Kristen greets Lisa and they talk. Lisa asks Kristen what she has learned from her firing. She also asks Kristen to not cause any problems tonight. “If Tom wasn’t a cheating, liar there wouldn’t be any problems,” Kristen says in response. “Let him go,” Lisa says also advising her to make it right with Tom and Ariana.
Sandoval, with Schwartz, tells Jax that he needs to speak to him. They head outside behind the restaurant. (The usual fighting/confronting/Jax being an ass hole spot.) Jax denies ever telling Kristen that Tom slept with Miami girl. (Again, why are you lying? It is all on camera!)
“Hi boys! How’s it going? Am I interrupting something?” Kristen says walking out of SUR and into a mess.
Kristen let’s Tom and Tom know that Jax did tell her and others from SUR that Sandoval had sex with Miami girl.
Jax loses it, “They’re still not going to like you no matter what!” Jax screams at Kristen, red-faced.
“Stop deflecting Jax,” Sandoval responds.
“You’re a liar and a cheater,” Kristen says to Tom.
“And you’re a psycho,” Tom responds. “You burn through friends like Jax burns through condoms!”
Kristen gets up and walks back into the restaurant. She heads straight over to Ariana who is sitting with Lisa and Katie.
“I’ve said everything I can to your boyfriend, and to you. Good Luck!” Kristen says and then walks away.
The three look at each other with confused looks on their faces.
In the end, Vail continues to flirt with Peter. Tom VERY dramatically asks Ariana, in front of Lisa and Katie, to move in with him. (I seriously thought he was proposing in SUR. But at the same time, I knew he wasn’t because I would have seen the ring in a million Twitter or Instagram pics.) Katie tells Tom she is growing impatient with him and he better decide over the next 6 months what he wants. Lisa plays a slide show of the SUR crew’s 10th anniversary pictures while Kristen sits around rolling her eyes and pretending to throw up. At the end, you see everyone leave the restaurant and Peter lock the place up.
Not really! OF COURSE there are more episodes but only three more. Next week is part one of the reunion and from what Andy Cohen told us on Watch What Happens Live last night, Stassi gets beat up on, pretty badly! He said the entire cast’s mood changed when she walked in. In clips for next week you see Katie really going at Stassi calling her “selfish”.
Can’t wait to see what happens!
Until next week…
Jessie Zahner is the owner of Athletchic.com. You can follow her on Instagram (Athletchic) or on Twitter at @Athletchic.